Laboratoire Barmier Daintification Assistant

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Having put so much effort into creating something for the vain older man (the Trumpfentopper Self-generating Toupée Machine), it seemed only fair to devise a device intended to make life easier for the Edwardian *lady*! If you're tired of waiting around while your lady's maid fiddles and fusses around applying your cosmetics and other facial treatments, this is the device for you. With nine different colours to select from, you can choose to treat your eyes, nose, mouth, or your entire face outline - separately or all together! And all with a couple of dabs on the pump! Simple and fast!

And the best bit? You will save a bundle of money, because you won't need to employ that lady's maid any longer!

It's designed to be placed on the front edge of your dressing-table, with the face-pipes having been carefully dimensioned and positioned so that when you sit in front of it, everything fits - even the nose portion is made "back-to-front" (i.e. facing away from you) so you can fit straight in. The method of operation is as follows:

Those ludicrously arrogant and absurd names chosen by some cosmetics companies in an attempt to big up and sell more of their horrendously over-priced products have always annoyed me - so now I'm getting my own back!

This piece was inspired by a Photographic Colour Touch-Up Outfit from Boot's the Chemists, probably dating from the 1940s or '50s (not Edwardian at all!), the nine cute little glass bottles of which, with their colour-stained corks and dried-up tints, were crying out to be put to further use! I have retained the colour descriptions on my new labels! (wholly unsuitable for [realistic] face-painting!).

Materials: brass, copper, hearth-brush cover, corked glass bottles, brass syringe, trivet legs
Dimensions: 12½" wide x 7½" deep x 18" high (32cm x 19cm x 46cm)
Weight: 6lb (2.8kg)

This piece will have its first showing at the Gallery of the Gloucestershire Guild of Craftsmen in Montpellier, Cheltenham from July 2024.

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